DIFFERENCE OF OPINION
On the topic of patriarchy, I take issue with some statements Rev. Moon and some of his followers make.
I believe that Rev. Moon is the Messiah and that his followers are often correct in how to live a principled life. But I do not think that every word they write is true, and they probably do not think that every word I write is true. Does anyone believe every single thing another person believes?
In the future ideal world every person will believe in all basic values. For example, every person will believe in the Divine Principle. I believe they will interpret the concept of subject and object between husband and wife as I explain it and not as some in the Unification Movement do. I take the teaching that men and women are different to its logical conclusion. Just as there is "absolute sex" in that there is an absolute value of moral purity, I believe that there are absolute differences between men and women.
Some statements in UC literature make the differences shades of gray; I see the differences as black and white. I don't believe you can be a little bit feminist anymore than you can be a little bit of a virgin. There are absolute roles for men and women and if people try to fool mother nature, they will suffer. America has suffered because it has embraced feminist thought.
Aubrey and Helen Andelin write of the deep differences between masculinity and femininity. Men lead, provide and protect women. Women's sphere is the home where she works to care for her husband, children and the elderly. The man battles it out in the marketplace and battlefield. He is chivalrous and keeps the woman from having to fight and compete.
I believe I am correct in making the worlds of men and women opposite because opposites attract. Men and women are to complement each other, and they should never compete with each other. The 20th century has been totally dominated by feminism. It is easy for the UC to become digested by our culture that is completely opposite of centuries before that were more in line with Biblical families. Compare the feminist family of the Clinton's with the traditional family of George Washington and the other men on Mt. Rushmore.
Rev. Moon is overwhelmingly anti-feminist, but occasionally he has made a few feminist statements that have confused his followers and led to them making some weak statements about the nature of men and women. In a speech on January 3, 2000 he said, "it is time to encourage more women to run for office."
"... the number of male candidates should be balanced by the number of female candidates. So far, there has been an imbalance here, and we should have balance from now. Many countries have two legislative houses, but giving more equal voice to both men and women will create a unification house. Through the unification house we can build the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth. ... In the future we need congresswomen, eventually even a woman president."
I HATE TO DISAGREE WITH REV. MOON
I am uncomfortable in disagreeing with him, but he says we are to stand on his shoulders and go beyond. I don't know why he said this. It makes no sense when you read his many statements about how women are to follow men. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. At the beginning of his speech we read, "How many leaders are here? (Rev. Hwang: the total is 800 leaders, including western, Korean and Japanese.) All sisters, raise your hands. (Not many.)" Not many? That is an understatement. How about less than 1%. And probably most of those women would rather be with their baby. How many women leaders have there been in the 40 years of the UC in America? Very few. A tiny percent. How many women has he made president of the UC? None. How many regional leaders were women in the audience during this speech? None. How many women really want to be leaders in the UC or leaders in the U.S. Senate? Very few and those that do are not in tune with the natural order of things.
The most dramatic lesson to learn is that for providential reasons he kept True Mother out of the home much of their marriage and what happened to their children? Scandals and betrayal. Even the Messiah cannot fool mother nature. Father is Messiah. He brought the Divine Principle and took the role of True Parents. But he is not God, and sometimes he is wrong. He often comments that his own inner circle of Korean disciples have disagreed with him on tactics and policy.
The main reason I disagree that women should be in politics and therefore leaders over men is that it simply doesn't work. God's laws are laws of common sense. Within God's rules we have order and love. Outside of God's boundaries we have chaos and disunity. I hope to give some good reasons in the following pages to make my point. Those who disagree with me have so far not written in very much depth.
Glorious True Family
Father gave a speech titled "Glorious True Family" when he was 78 years old that sounds exactly like his speeches decades before when he talks about how men and women are radically different. The following quotes are from this speech that was published in the September issue of the Unification News. (http://www.tparents.org/Library/Unification/Publications/UNews/Unws9809/SM980809.htm)
Father says, " the concept of the ideal implies absolute, eternal, unchanging and unique. First, absolute; second, unique; third, unchanging and fourth, eternal." One of Father's favorite words is "absolute." There are no gray areas in God's truths. There are only absolutes. I read Father as teaching over and over that men and women have different positions. Balance comes from complementing their differences. Men go out and women stay home.
Convex and Concave
He says, "When God created Adam first, God said it looked lonely. That is why God created Eve as the partner of Adam, after which God said, 'It looks good.' What is the essence of Eve that made God feel good? Was it His creation of her face, eyes, hands, which part of the body? It was the final stage of the creation: the sexual organ. God perfected the ideal of 'convex and concave.' When God created Adam, He shaped Adams love organ convex. Then as the partner of Adams sexual organ God created Eve with the concave shaped love organ. That was the essence of Eves creation from God. Why did God create Adams love organ and Eves love organ in such a way? He did so because without having them they cannot make love.
"The reason God said it was very good after completing the creation of Eve is because He knew that by having these two different types of sexual organs, which would allow Adam and Eve to unite in love, through their lovemaking God would achieve love too. Thus it was good for God, good for Eve and good for Adam. Centering on what did God say that? Centering on the sexual organ.
"Do not think this is a strange concept; it is not. Because of the human fall, the meaning or concept of the sexual organs became strange, dirty or embarrassing. But in truth the love organ is the origin of life, love and lineage. It is the source of an eternal spring of love. Why did God chase Adam and Eve out of the garden right after their fall? It was because their love organ was contaminated and already destroyed, so God didnt see any purpose in them."
I read from this that he is teaching that men and women are made physically different to represent their emotional and psychological differences. All major religions understand this and have made men patriarchs and women homemakers.
Plus and Minus
"Man is to be the plus center, and woman the minus center. This is the way of man and woman harmonizing. If we extend this model, we can see this phenomenon on the surface of the earth, in the mountains and the oceans. Which part of this diagram do you think should represent plus, the lower section or the upper section? [The diagram was a capital M directly above a capital W.] I ask in particular the American ladies here: who is in the position of subject, husband or wife? American women conceive of themselves as subject. Do you follow Father? (Yes; and Father is a man, and this teaches that) the wife is not supposed to walk in front of her husband. You are supposed to follow your husbands footsteps. It is natural that since usually you are smaller than your husband, your stride is shorter than his and in a normal circumstance you need to make greater effort to keep up with your husband. This simple concept is very important for American women, because the wrong concept here destroys the family, leading to a proliferation of problems."
This is totally politically incorrect. Only the minority of Americans such as the Baptists and Mormons teach this. The Pope is strong on not having women be leaders in the Catholic church. It is beautiful to see their church's leadership get together and there is only men voting on who leads them. Father constantly blasts American sisters who are feminists and want to be subject and not follow their husbands. He calls this a "simple concept." Patriarchy is simple. God is simple. Fallen man makes the world complicated and disunited. Because American women have become feminist they have, as Father says, destroyed the family.
"Who is in the position to be influenced by the environment more easily, the husband or wife? If there is a beautiful flower, women have a tendency to draw closer and to try to touch it, whereas men stand at a distance and try to figure it out, asking to whom it belongs, what is its name, or analyzing its beauty. So are men or women, husbands or wives, more changeable?
Male or Female God?
"The American womans concept, 'woman first,' is not so good. What do you want? Do you want to see God as a female God or male God? [Both.] Father is asking you to make a choice. [Male.] The reason is that man carries the seed of life. Is that true?
"Who is in the central position? Between man and woman, who is vertical, man or woman? [Man.] What about woman? [Horizontal.] When this vertical figure, man, and horizontal figure, woman, meet, that angle should be perpendicular. Only true love can establish eternal settlement when it comes to the vertical and horizontal relationship meeting in the center point. Who is bigger in terms of size between man and woman? [Man.] Because man is vertical, he is naturally supposed to be bigger than woman, so when woman sees her love partner, her husband, she goes and embraces him and swings around his neck. Making that 90 degree angle, how beautiful they are."
Students of the Principle cannot interpret the four position as saying that men and women are always in a horizontal relationship to each other. Cain and Abel have a horizontal relationship in a four position also, but obviously Abel is in a more vertical position to Cain. They each have the same value but have different positions of leader and follower. A General has equal value to a Private in the U.S. Army, but they have different roles. Men and women are the same.
Bones and Flesh
Father constantly uses the analogy that men are bones and women are flesh. He emphasizes that there is no interchanging. "In terms of the human body, man is in the position of bone, and woman is in the position of flesh. You may argue about why man should be bone and woman flesh. Bone can exist without much water, but flesh is over 70 percent water. That is why womans shape is concave, like a container receiving water. The shape of mans love organ is like a bone. That particular organ should be strong like a bone. Then you can make love and function really well. Suppose that particular organ is like regular flesh, then what will happen? Flesh mixed with bone is mans sexual organ. Flesh mixed with water is the womans body.
"Therefore, I am the combination of bone that I received vertically from my father and flesh that I received horizontally from my mother. The combination of these two, vertical and horizontal, is myself. Which lasts longer, bone or flesh? The vertical being, the bone lasts longer. Who is the vertical figure? The husband. The wife is the horizontal figure. While woman turns around 360 degrees, man is in the center, not going around 360 degrees."
Right in the middle of all this excellent explanation of the differences between masculinity and femininity he interjects a paragraph that is either mistranslated or confusing. He says, "Thus, in an ideal family the wife can function in the place of the husband, vertically forming the 90 degrees. There is no difference when wife plays the role of husband in an ideal family. If there are no parents, the children can play the role of the parents; if there is no son, then the daughter can play his role. Can we find such a family in America? Once such an ideal family is formed, husband and wife can interchange their roles. They can play the roles in shifts."
This makes no sense. Perhaps he means that they all have equal value and can teach each other and help each other. Perhaps he means that if there is no husband because he is away from the house or dead, then a woman can have the "function of a husband." Feminists love these rare seemingly feminist passages in the mass of Father's speeches that say men always lead.
These few words are out of place in the midst of so many strong statements that women walk behind their man. When does a man walk behind the woman? When is he flesh? When is he object? He blasts feminism and then seems to sound like one. I don't know what he said in the original Korean. I'm sure he listens to his wife and children, but can anyone say they have seen True Mother or his children lead him at any time? I doubt it. I have seen him many times, and he has never interchanged his role with anyone. I have never heard or read that he ever has done this even once in his long life.
He continues saying how men are to be manly or "man-like": "Do you ladies want your husband to be feminine or masculine? A man-like man is unchangeable. A changeable man is like a woman. The womans way is to change easily. I dont know, but you understand what I am talking about. Again, who is more changeable, man or woman? [Woman.]
"Then do you want to see your husband standing like a rock or pillar, not talking too much but having a stern appearance, or should your husband be more like a pet dog, moving around and around. [Like a pillar.]
MEN LEAVE HOME - WOMEN STAY HOME
"According to Fathers teaching, in our family the wife should be like woman and the husband should be like man. That is the only way we can build ideal, glorious and true families. Between man and woman, who has bigger hips? Why? They are like a cushion for sitting a long time. That is womans life. That is natural law. Mans hips are sharp, therefore he cannot sit a long time and goes out running around and working. How wonderful womans place. That is why woman is originally shaped such a way as a gift from God. Therefore if a woman goes out more than her husband, your family, also your nation, will be in crisis." If a woman is to be President and 50 women are to be Senators, they will be women who are "out" of the house. The ultimate representative of men are leaders. Senators and the President are the ultimate bones. Women have no place competing with and dominating men.
MEN ARE KINGS
Men he says, go out and women stay home. "This good cushion which woman has naturally, women should be able to embrace all the children and grandchildren and eventually present them to the husband and grandparents. So woman is in the queens position to raise the children of your own family and tribe. Whereas husband is in the kings position of the entire nation. That is why the husband is supposed to go out and to move more. Suppose Father just stayed in Korea for Gods providence. Then you wouldnt have any chance to learn about the reality of the Kingdom of God. Instead, Father came out of Korea and came to America.
"So women must clearly know the identity of woman, and man should know clearly mans identity. And we should know the relationship between man and woman in our family. That is the only way we can build an ideal family centering on true love. Between man and woman, who cries more easily. [Woman.] Why? Because woman always faces four different directions, east, west, north and south, they keep crying. Why? Because of the marriage you have, you shed tears easily, your husband can comfort you and extend his sympathy over you. I will tell you a secret. When the wife makes a small mistake in your family, just shed tears in front of your husband, that is the superhighway through which you can guarantee your husbands forgiveness and love. Instead of shedding tears, they just keep shouting and lose that marriage privilege. So when the wife starts shedding tears, the husband feels, 'Oh, she must be missing my love.'"
Balance -- Husbands are taller
He mentions the word balance saying, "Think about it if the woman is tall and the man is short, how can they make balance?" This is true balance. Fifty percent of marriages are not to have the woman taller than the man. There are exceptions to this rule of men being taller than their wives, but there are so few exceptions that it is not even worth looking at. Feminists are wrong in the UC to take a few unusual examples and make sweeping statements for feminism. I am making sweeping, absolute statements because Father teaches and acts this way.
I want to talk about cause and effect. I have witnessed some UC leaders and members make judgments about members and non-members of the UC. They will confidently announce to everyone that they know why some people have tragedies and others don't. They say they know the cause of any one individual's problems. For example, I heard one leader tell a group of us that if anyone left the UC their future children would have birth defects. My wife and I did leave and have children. I remembered what this leader said and when our first child was born I was scared he might be horribly deformed. I was at the delivery and could only feel fear that I had disappointed God and my new son would pay the price for my betrayal. The doctor examined him and told us he was perfect.
We know a member who did not leave and did everything by the book. They have a child that is severely retarded. The mother asked Father if she or her husband had done anything to bring this about. Father told them it was not their fault. We teach in the Principle a few examples of cause and effect. John the Baptist had his head cut off because he denied Jesus. Yet Billy Graham has lived a long life even though he has denied Father.
Father can give judgment, but I rarely see him do it. We do not know the cause or why some members get in car accidents or die of cancer when they are 40 years old. Bad things happen to good people. Some Mafia Godfathers live a long life and die in their sleep. We cannot look at a celebrity who suffers and say it was because they had too much money or rejected Father or whatever. I refuse to judge individuals in and out of the UC for my ideas of cause and effect. There are so many forces at work, we cannot know to what degree we pay for our ancestors, for our fellow church members, for the sins of our country, and for what we do as individuals.
I am publicly disagreeing with Father. I have done this after much soul searching and prayer. I do want anyone to interpret what I'm saying as disrespect or disbelief in Father. I do not want anyone to make a mountain out of a molehill in what I say.
And if tragedies happen to me or anyone in our family or to anyone else, I reject that it is because of what I say. On the contrary, I am absolutely confident that what I write is the truth and Father, himself, would agree with me if he read this book.
Martin Luther posted his 95 theses on the door of the Catholic Church and it led to a division of the church. I am not posting 95 complaints. I do disagree strongly about Father's statement that sisters be wannabe Senators. There are some things he and the Church has done that I don't agree with or at best don't understand. I think the MFT and socialist communes in the 70s were a mistake. I think that True Parents shouldn't eat donuts. In the speech on Jan. 3 in which he said America needs a woman President he also talked about how the planet needs a lot more cows. I strongly disagree with Father on this. I write about how cows are ruining this earth and people's health in my book Fulfilling Your Potential.
My disagreements with Father are over a tiny few statements. Anti-Moonists would say I am not being logical. They have no idea the depth or nuances of meaning of the Principle. They say if Moon is "perfect" then he can't make any mistakes. He is omnipotent and omniscient.
A problem that many have is making the Messiah into God. He is a man making many decisions as he pioneers new territory. The Messiah has perfect motivation, but he is not perfect. God is not perfect until mankind is sinless. God and mature mankind will build an ideal world -- a "perfect" world. There will be erasers on pencils in that future world, but there will also be one ideology on earth. God planned Adam and Eve and Lucifer to live in paradise and it didn't turn out that way. God and the Messiah will restore this earth eventually. But it is a messy process. Did Jesus do everything right? Was it the best approach to stand in front of the religious leaders of his day and tell them their father is the devil? Was it the best strategy to overthrow tables in the Temple? Should he have made his disciples get jobs instead of begging for food? Should he have done all those healings and concentrated on teaching the truth? I honestly don't know. He did his best and he went to jail and received capital punishment. Father has done his best.
Bible -- We Need to Add
Christians say that the Bible cannot be added to. We teach that they are wrong. I say we can add to Father's words. Especially when it seems he is contradicting himself. There can only be one Unification Church. We all have to agree on all the basic values. Words are important. The truth is precious. It is crucial to have God's laws and blueprint precisely written for mankind to live by for trillions of years into the future. I love Father and bow to him as the pioneer of the ideal world. But I do not think he is completely right on every little point. In the end, the truth rises. If I am right then the future generations will not have women leave the home to rule over men. I am confident they won't because history has shown and science proves that women have no interest and no biological desire to lead men in the home or out of the home. And Father overwhelmingly teaches that women are in the object position and always follow men.